W. Cape May, NJ
Busy balancing my humility with my false humility
Funkharp School of the Ninja: Currently accepting applications. $25 application fee. Applicant must provide his/her own black Keds sneakers
How come nobody uses the word "penultimate" anymore? I swear I'm going to bring that word back into popularity even if it's the second to last thing I do.
Funkharp Malt Liquor: Throw Caution to the Wind and Get Loaded.
Drink Responsibly. Not an actual product.
What rhymes with "Whirling Dervish"?
I started writing a "To Do" list of things I want to do in life. Here's what I have so far:
-watch every movie on the AFI top 100
-visit the McDonald's at EuroDisney
-tear down the Berlin Wall
-Write book of eerie yet slightly vague predictions (to be written in limerick form as Nostradamus pretty much exhausted the quatrain when it comes to anthropological soothsaying. thanks a lot, Nostradamus. limerick form is lame and will probably belie the gravitas of my clairvoyant assertions.)
-find a cure for gravity
-kill Moby Dick
-learn to ride a vegan
-learn what "vegan" means
-Die (even if it's the last thing I do)
-come to accept that it's not butter
-have a breakfast dish named after me (something with eggs. Or whatever, I'd be cool with any breakfast item they want to name after me. not crumpets.)
-live in a box car
-compare affection of pet rock vs. real rock
-coin new curse words when the current ones become too relevant to offend people
-design an ethnicity
-record sitcoms written by Chuck Lorre so I can pause and read those notes he flashes after the credits
-find out what happened to Dave Matthews' songs #1-#39
-curb my enthusiasm
-brag about myself to Bono
-lionize the plight of the African Mantled Colobus
-invent my own system for Braille
-take up the ongoing search for Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldman's murderer
...I may add more. -Fharp